#WFH #Archimom Mother's Day 2020





so, i went to a job site a few days ago after getting a text from a client the night before saying that they were not sure if they liked a paint color, and I said,  "well who picked it and we can always change the color..." and then I said, "well when are they going to start painting?"

which that was a clue right there to what the problem was

i. as the architect. didn't know...and they said:

"tomorrow morning"

and i said, "what?"

This is Behr's Crisp Linen




so anyways what ensued was a text conversation and then what happened the next day when i met them and the contractor at the job site and we looked at exterior paint colors and the interior paint which was already half done and which was "crisp linen" which is basically the navajo white of the 2020 (can we even use that color name anymore and why was it even named that?)

so what it basically came down to after the wife went back to work was me saying to the contractors and the husband

"i am the architect on this project and i either pick the colors with the client or they do but what i don't want is the contractor to tell the clietn what he thinks is a good color because I have been doing this for 35 fucking years and i don't want to get a text from the client the night before about how they aren't sure that they like the color that is going to be painted the next morning." Yes, I did use the word fuck because I think that the only time that men really do listen to women is when they use that word. 
Is this Behr's Perfect Taupe" or is it Grey???

And the client said, "Wow! you are getting all riled up" and the contractor's son-in-law said from up on the roof, "YA, and I like it!" (his wife is pregnant with twin girls and he has a young boy who is under 2 and I  can't wait to see how much he has to say to me (and his father-in-law) a few years from now, about anything.

and I said, "OMG!!!!  All I ever wanted to do was be an architect and not get married and maybe have one child and live in Venice (it was Malibu when i was younger)  dealing with people in the entertainment industry and instead I am here, dealing with this!

And it was all said slightly muffled through a fabric mask!!!!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY  2020 COVID-19




And the thing is that i love my kids.  we all love our kids.  and am i sorry that i had them. or that I put my career on hold for 20 years so that they could grow into these amazing young adults who

walk behind me during zoom calls in their underwear? or decide to cook food in the kitchen ten feet away with their boyfriend five minutes before I said I was recording an interview, or get mad at me when i tell them that they can cook dinner that night and I expect a vegetable and starch with dinner along with a piece of chicken?  No.  And were they impressed at all at my last minute decision to put three niches in the wall of the addition for each of them?  No they were not.  Well, until they saw what I was talking about.

These are three niches in the wall of the new
addition that I was explaining to my kids
and I said that I was going to
put their baptism boxes in them and
they didn't seem to care. I think i should
have said, this is where I am going
to put your phones and you
will have to dig them
out to get them back might
have made a bigger impression


Because I love them.  And I am an Archimom!!!  Nothing rattles me, even when we are all in the house for way too long because I can go take it out on the contractor or the building dept.


why do i have a bottle of good wine here???


Not really

I can take it out on my family or scream in the car.  Because I am totally normal and now I have an excuse because where before I was just a crazy work from home mom, now people say,

"OMG!!!  How did you do it?"

And I say, "not very easily and not without a lot of humor.


So, in the past I have written of what we as mothers want for the day, what we want for other moms, what we want for women and if you want to see those blogs, here are the links

#Archimom "What we really want for Mother's Day"

#Archimom #havingitall #nothavingitall






"I've never met a woman architect before..." Tees, Tanks, Camis & Panties,

Yes, I designed these a little less than a year ago, got them up and then the company shut down for COVID-19 but they are now taking orders so if you sign up for their emails, they give you 20% off of your order AND there is a running bet that if I sell 100 t-shirts and/or other merch, I will model the tank and panties on the website (I'm going to start training now n eager anticipation of those orders...)

What I do want to say is this that I wrote the other day in the "parents in architecture" Facebook group as I see that parents (mostly moms btw as they still bear the brunt of the child care duties, and i don;t want to hear from any men  about this because it is Mother;s Day and as i said to someone else on a post when he said this because i recall that my own husband said this "well, why should i do anythinig for my wife (and mother of my children or quite frnakly anyone's children) she isn't my mom" is the

BEST WOMEN'S LIBIDO KILLER EVER



so here is my FACEBOOK POST in Parents In Architecture regarding "Remote Learning"
and I will stand by this:

Hi! I might do a blog post about this if there are any parents who would like to participate. It has to do with remote learning and parents' expectations of what they should be doing. I would like to just put it out there that this Pandemic and situation is a Federal Disaster. Like other disasters and emergencies before it, everyone is at a high stress level. So first, just try and calm down. You cannot control the situation, you can only control how you react to it. The homework and assignments that your children are getting are not supposed to be in place of what they get in the classroom, it is just a way to keep them going in their routine to have some type of normal. Believe me, I have three adult children, 19, 21, and 25 who are all perfectly functioning adults as far as graduating high school and going to college (the 25 year old has a full time job and is an essential worker so she has been working full time during all of this, the boys are remote learning in their underwear, at least one of them has probably been more successful at getting to class on time than he was IRL. If you have ever been in the classroom with your kids, and i would highly recommend that you do volunteer in the classroom at some point, you will see that they are not doing a lot as far as work and they are not being attended to at all times by the teacher. The teacher will tell them to sit down because she is busy helping someone else. They go to recess and lunch. So give yourself some slack.
I have been listening to my sons' art history teacher and believe me I think I should be teaching her, you are architects and you are pretty smart people, your children are getting an immensely valuable lesson on seeing how you work and being with you. The reason why we don't home school is because most of us do not want to because we don't have the patience for it and it is good for your kids to be around other kids. So, have them do their assignments for some time during when they usually would be in school and then have them go outside for "recess" and "lunch", etc. Your children will get into college and seriously, my daughter was 7 when 9/11 happened and she told me when this started, "oh, i remember that we still went to school when 9/11 happened" THEY DIDN'T!!! they were off for at least a week and the work that they were given when they went back was not the full amount of work that they would have had to do. This is basically not about what your kids are or aren't going to learn, it is that you don't have to feel guilty about not being a teacher when you never wanted to be, you are their parent, they will be fine and don't beat yourself up over it.

This was also backed up by some articles on NPR saying that the school district and the teachers biggest thing is that they want to know if the kids are ok, because for some children, school is the only consistency that they have. (I oretty much think that this is probably happens less often than they would like to think because as one teacher even said to the parents of the kids in her classroom, 

 :I hope that you don;t believe everything that your children says about me and I won;t believe all of the things that your kids say about you." 
"Biggest Takeaway for Parents as far as how to raise your Children"


So there was some good and bad in that right?  But there are always exceptions, there are children who have managed to grow up tin not so good situations who have managed to do good things in their lives but sometimes the body cannot manage the stress over time and deteriorates in ways that are not always seen, so try and take it as easy as you can and enjoy the time that you have with your children even if it means that you might lose it every once in a while.





MOTHERS IN ARCHITECTURE FACEBOOK PAGE
A look behind the scenes where no man has gone before...
It is amazing how many men that ask to join this group because they "watch their Kids", yes and you are called "Fathers" and yes, you can have your own Facebook group too.

So here is a brief questionnaire that I asked of the Women In Architecture Facebook Group
I asked permission to quote them.  I think they all had great answers that really speak of the importance of Mothers in raising Women Architects and Archimoms!!!






Hi Archimoms!!! I will be doing a short blog for Mother's Day and wanted to know if anyone wanted to participate in it by answering the following questions (You can also go to my Instagram story and post your answers there)
:
  1. What do you like best about being a mother and an architect "archimom"?
  2. What did you learn from your own mom that helps you as an archimom?
Thank you!

Erin Barnett Vaughn My initial interest in architecture came from my mothers love of travel! We traveled alot growing up and when I was 10 and 12 we went to Egypt, then Greece. She always took the time to point out the different orders and building elements and we took time before and our plane rides to learn about the places we were going. I'm still always a walking travel guide!
2
  • Erin Barnett Vaughn I should also mention that my mom is NOT an architect or related field.
    1
  • Erin Barnett Vaughn I like being an archimom because when my boys see something needing fixed or built, they always say" My mom can do that!" Other people find it funny how my boys are always offering me up to fix or build something. Last week my older son(5) asked if I could.build him a secret lab under our house!
    4
Kelly A. Kleppin 1. It’s handy being an architect mom because we always have art supplies for last minute school projects.
6
  • (A person did not want her name published here)
     Kelly A. Kleppin that's the truth!
    1

  (A person did not want her name published here)

1- My kids love looking at my drawings and think all the projects I work on are “Mansions” ðŸ˜‚ I love that they know a plan from a section and also drew up their own “blueprints” for an automobile (yes they still prefer cars)
2- I learnt resilience and “never complain no matter what” from my own mom. Yes, I still complain, but she has taught my how to take anything on without a whine
3


Ariel Longtin I do not enjoy being an archimom. I feel architecture is extremely incompatible with motherhood.
2
  • 1
  • Michele Grace Hottel Ariel Longtin what about motherhood?
  • Ariel Longtin Michele Grace Hottel just having time to be present with my children. My new job is better and I had normal working hours. But the last firm I worked for our hours were “normal” but I was on salary and was constantly having to make up time bc, you know, kids get sick sometimes and want their mother around. I didn’t have good paid sick time. 10 days pto is not enough for a mother. I always felt so guilty when I would get home at 9pm for days in a row and never get to see my kids. And also guilty bc I felt like I could never make my boss happy and keep up with his expectations and demands.
    1
    Michele Grace Hottel my husband is also an architect and he did 
  •        that and I worked for myself and took care of the three kids 
  • (now 19, 21 & 25) it still wasn’t easy but it worked out fine. 
  • But I think everyone gives up something

Melissa Shanks I personally didn’t make the transition from architect to mom stick...Haven’t worked in an office for eight years and that makes me a bit sad everyday. I do enjoy seeing the look on my children’s faces when we are in a building I built since they don’t see me do it daily, it is like a secret “superpower” that they are astounded by!😂

My own mom influenced me by always taking us to parade of homes as kids and then acting as GC while doubling the square footage and renovating our house when I was 12...so I “lived” in a construction site for my early teen years, though I knew I wanted to be an architect when I was nine.
1
Argelia Barcena 1. The creativity I bring to play, the technology (since it is a big part of my role too), the out of the ordinary &; very unique toys, clothes, vacation types. Fashionable, minimalist style. I’ve turned my 3 yr old into a jetsetter as she started to fly with me shortly before she was only 2 months old. She travels so well. Extremely adaptable &; enjoys sightseeing so much.

2. Learned from my mom: Perfection, and being analytical. The love of aesthetics too.
1
Giovanna Jaspid-Martinez 1. Because of architecture I have enjoyed travelling around the world, going to museums, appreciate others creativity, sketch, always have color pencils at home and my daughters are growing up with the same interest and love being creative and recognize landmarks at a young age.
2.My mom has been a seamstress working on her own from home while raising my brother and I. She taught me that working on my own business is very important and most of all that I CAN do it, to make sure I enjoy doing my work.
1


Bianca Beadling 1. I love designing something that they’ll be able to walk through and experience firsthand someday. They see me working on drawings and I show them the model in BIM... I think it will will be a really cool experience for them to see it taken from paper to physical. This is a process that applies to almost everything that we see around us... a car or a toy was first a design on paper. In addition, I’ve been fortunate to be able to work around their schedule and from home, so another thing I really like about being an archimom is the flexibility of integrating two important aspects of my life.

2. My mom is an artist. She paints happy, whimsical watercolors that have always brought me joy. I remember watching her as a kid put that first stroke of color on paper, seeing the process firsthand of taking a blank slate and turning it into something that evoked emotion and spurred imagination.
1

  • Elsa Guzman-Contreras 1) what i love about being an “archimom” and a mother is that i get to drive around town and show my kids that mommy did that. Architecture is one of the few professions where you can physically see the end result of your hard work and let the public know you
    Worked on it. Its pretty awesome!
    2) my mom is not an architect. She worked the fields more than half her life. One thing she always told me while in college and now as i go through the ARE process, is “si las cosas fueran fáciles, todo el mundo lo haría.” It means- if things were easy, the everyone would do it. That helped me get through tough career obstacles. It’s helped me get through stressful days at work!
    2


  • Bianca Beadling So exciting! Can't wait to read your blog post!
    1




My Thanks to All Archimoms and all of the work that they do every single day and I might have to buy them a shirt :).

My hope for the outcome of all of this is that we flatten the curve, test for immunity, find a cure and a vaccine, reboot the economy the way that we have never been able to in architecture and construction before and that the real value that women bring to the table is not dismissed as simply being caregivers but that the world realizes the impact that women make in this field and many others and their importance in the world's health and welfare.

And because you should be thankful, here are some gifts that you can give that you don't have to leave the house for, but remember that you can walk to the store, it just might mean more because you had to stand in line for so long.

I am staying close to home and I encourage you all to do likewise and support a woman-owned business close to you also (besides my t-shirts).





Extraordinary Desserts

This place is not only designed by a woman architect, Jennifer Luce of Lucet Studio but it has really great desserts that you can order and pickup if you are in the San Diego area.  If you aren't close by, just look at these beautiful desserts, I seriously have been looking at them longingly for the last five days every since I saw these Mother's Day creations by Karen Krasne, who is a mom but I hope she has someone else doing most of this tomorrow.





http://youandyours.com/strawberry-sazerac/




You & Yours Distilling Company

This woman-owned Distilling Company has Gin and Vodka and a bunch of other hand-crafted and canned beverages.  I don't typically drink mixed drinks but I have to say that their place is very woman-friendly and fun and Laura Kay Johnson is rocking the pick-up gin joint/mother's day tea/on-line and instagram entertaiment.  Follow her on Instagram and enjoy her Instagram stories that give you drink tutorials.




The Body Shop Gift Card




COOLHAUS
Ice Cream Designed by Women Architects and Archimoms, Eaten by Everyone.


Oh and what are my answers to my questions?

1.) I like being an Archimom because I get to be an architect and a mom!  I had initially thought that I would have an architecture practice with a partner in life and work and that I would be able to have a baby and work at the same time because of the flexibility in schedule. And then when I did, I was surprised at how few women I met that actually were practicing and were mothers so I wasn't sure that I would be able to do it. Then when I did it I was surprised that people criticized how I could do it, how could I practice architecture if I was a mother, how could I have a baby and still practice architecture?  But I did it and I know it is hard, but it is what I wanted to do and I was able to do it, with my husband working full time most of the time and I am able to keep doing it because of the children that we had while I was working part time.  I love that I have been able to do both and I an now working full time to put them through college and to grow my business!!!

2.) I learned how to be an Archimom from my mom in the way that she was always making something and always had a project even though I know it was hard for her in a lot of ways as my father left us and she was raising two kids by herself working part time  (with some help from her parents) at 26 years of age. We always had a house that we owned (even though when she went to buy the second one, she ahd to have her parents co-sign for it because she was now a divorced woman and single women at that time, 1975 were not allowed to buy a house on their own, even though she had purchased one previously at age 21. She always had a job and took college classes (4.0 GPA) and was always reading and taking us to the library.  I always thought that she was a very creative person. She told me years after I became an architect, "I think maybe I would have become an architect, but when I was in high school if you were a smart girl you went to college for nursing or teaching and the other girls went to be a secretary until you could get married and have babies.

I feel very fortunate that we can now do both.

We just need to tell people that.



HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY!!!!

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